9/22/2010
我还是个没用的家伙
原来生活会让你逐步放弃当初一直坚持的一切……我看来,我还是个没用的家伙。我仍然怀念一个人,日夜都在想,仿佛变成了一种习惯。我无法彻彻底底,也不去逼自己如此做。乏味的工作,就算套上一层糖衣,那层糖衣根本无法依附,不到数秒完全融化了。我忽然不喜欢身边的朋友问我关于自己的私事。我会说,如果我觉得你是我信赖的人。别问我!我可不是省油的灯。小心玩火! 我常在想,一个人在想,在车厢内想,在车的后座想……这个生活到底是干嘛的?我的骨子里仍有那零零落落的热忱,因为当我看到时尚单品,我仍然会抓狂。当我听到自己也无法听不下去的时尚课题,我会咬人。是的,我该感到欣慰吗?那点点的火头仍然着,只是需要外来的因素来发挥其导火的功能。
工作不再穿得美美,因为觉得没有这个必要。买了的新衣、新裤、新鞋……都是穿不超过三次,有的根本不曾穿过。生活竟然落得如此的田地?我怀念那些旧衣裳,一些他留下来的旧衣物。我想我是疯了,我习惯了一个人关起来,独自去面对。我不需要你的同情,因为我会觉得你很恶心,我也确实好段日子没扫人一巴掌,不懂谁会让我重温这种扫人一巴掌的快感?
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